Intuitive Eating in Real Life: Lindsey

A personal story of how Intuitive Eating works in real life.

Written by dietetic intern Lindsey Hardmeyer. Edited by Cristina Luibil, MS, RD, LDN

   I remember being in middle school and becoming aware of my body and what body image meant. Before this, I never thought of my body as something negative, but rather as something that allowed me to play sports, hang out with my friends, and was simply a part of me, not something that defined me. I remember the first time a doctor told me I was “overweight”; I wasn't even a teenager yet. I felt ashamed and confused. After all, I was bigger and taller than all the other kids in my class because I was athletic and well-nourished, not to mention a growing child. I compared myself to all my friends and began to identify with the narrative the doctor gave me. I started to hyper-focus on this thought: What could I do to ‘fix’ this? This was the beginning of a harmful narrative that stuck with me throughout my teenage and early adult years.

   At lunch, I remember comparing what my friends and I brought to eat—Who was eating the fewest calories? What type of food did they pack? Was it ‘good’ or ‘bad’ for us? On the other hand, I remember feeling burnt out and exhausted after sports practice, not fueling myself and working out extra hard. Why was this so hard for me? Why were my friends naturally thinner, and why didn't they have to worry about what they ate? This followed me into high school. At my high school, fitting in with the popular crowd was a must. You had to be the best dressed, the prettiest, the best athlete, and, according to society, the smallest. I began to think of food as something that was neither enjoyable nor nourishing, but rather a chore I tried to avoid. I can see now how this harmful narrative that continued to play in the back of my mind was affecting my mental health. At my lowest weight, I was being congratulated and complimented on my appearance, but I was never truly satisfied or happy. I was always worrying about how I looked when I was with my friends or if I was going to be in a picture, instead of enjoying the time I was having.

 Why was I so hungry all the time? Why was I always thinking about what I was going to pick out on a menu? Why was I so concerned about making sure I didn't eat too much before I went out, so I didn't look ‘bloated’? Why was I not listening to my body when it was telling me what it needed? And why did I not love my body anymore? I began to challenge these thoughts when I went to college and started to study nutritional sciences. I was immersed in the science behind nutrition and metabolism, and how important it is to fuel our bodies. I started to work out mindfully and move my body again in ways that I enjoyed instead of as a way to correct my eating or fix my body. After all, I'm a young adult woman whose body is growing and changing, which is normal as we age. I stopped listening to people and the Internet about what I should be feeding myself, how I should look, and what I should do. I began to listen to my body and trust my body. I stopped being afraid of enjoying food, enjoying myself, and what other people thought of me. 

 After doing some independent research, I came across the topic of intuitive eating. I was confused at first because I've never heard of this before. But when I started to review the intuitive principles, I realized that it was something that I was already starting to practice in my own life. I began to honor my hunger and fullness cues, I started to respect my body instead of fighting against it, and I stopped labeling foods as good or bad (there is no moral value to food). I started to trust and nourish my body. But this is not a quick fix. This is something that I constantly remind myself and practice on a daily basis. There will always be ups and downs. Especially because we live in a society that promotes diet culture. Intuitive eating is not about being perfect, and it's not going to instantly calm your relationship with food or issues with your body image. But as I continue to work through these intuitive eating principles, the narrative shifts in my brain- I'm allowed to eat what I want when I want, and I listen to my body to tell me when I'm hungry and when I'm full. I trust my body and honor my body and its ability to move in ways I enjoy. If I could tell my younger self that my body or my relationship with food wasn't my fault or something wrong with me, I think she would be surprised. But who I am now is not defined by what I look like, what other people or society tells me, or even what I eat- it’s who I am as a person- a kind, funny, hardworking person who wants to help others. I have been able to change my perspective, and it has freed me from the stress and perfection I thought was necessary.

If you are looking to break free from diet culture or are curious about how Intuitive Eating can work for you, Aterra can help. If you would like to get in touch with our dietitians or access more of our resources, check out the links below!

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Disclaimer: The information shared in this blog is for general educational and informational purposes only. It may not be tailored to your specific health needs as it is written here. This content is not intended to replace personalized medical advice, nutrition counseling, or medical nutrition therapy. Any recipes or suggestions provided are meant to inspire and should be used at your discretion. Always consult with your own registered dietitian, physician, or healthcare provider before making changes to your nutrition, lifestyle, or treatment plan. If you choose, Aterra Nutrition would be happy to help you in your own, individual nutrition and intuitive eating journey.